a person that is better than you

HAHAHAHAHAHAH

Sun, 17 Aug 2008 23:05:46 GMT

Forged in the flames of chaos.

Hammered by trials to tempered steel. Convictions, tried and tested,

onto a razor's edge, that's true and real.

Wrought between the hammer and the anvil, strengthened to never break.

The weakness that surrounds is the evil that I forsake.

Never have I taken in vain the sacred vessel of my soul. I am the master

of my faith, my destiny I control. Nobility lies in actions,

corrections where once was wrong. Ascension from evil with a

heart that's true and strong. Through this veil of shadows,

the light of truth is my only guide. A knight unyielding. To the X I'm crucified.

Men

Tue, 10 Jun 2008 05:46:09 GMT

Men that have meant something to me..

Nick R
Nick B
Jimmy

Brad

Derrick

Mon, 31 Mar 2008 03:40:03 GMT

bring back summer of 2005, no?

Fri, 28 Dec 2007 08:13:30 GMT

Thu, 22 Nov 2007 23:44:02 GMT

woah

Sat, 16 Jun 2007 09:28:49 GMT

went to a bar tonight after playing pool with the girls. got hit on by rockabilly dudes with there hair all done up big and nice jeans.

Sun, 10 Jun 2007 09:16:46 GMT

i had a dream a few weeks ago that i can't get out of my head. i was all dressed up, really pretty and all. totally fancy. high heals and the works. and i stepped outta this car that i wasn't driving and i saw these lights and i walked over to this building and i'm guessing it was supposed to be like a show, because there was a bunch of down ass kids but i didn't talk to anyone i just stood there.
i rememeber needing to back track to my car and i couldn't find someone, but some creepy ass fool kept following me and i started to panic. i ran and i finally found this weird janky ass motel and there was an upstairs and it was really weird but you were standing in front of it. i was really embarassed because i was yelling your name really loud and i noticed that you were standing with a bunch of girls who were also all dressed up but you weren't and i was screaming really loud and i knew you were in hearing distance but you didnt turn around and then i remember being dragged away and then i don't know if something else happened because it either faded out or i woke up.

Mon, 21 May 2007 06:31:36 GMT

tell me boys, is it impossible to stay faithful and not lie to your girl?

Tue, 20 Mar 2007 22:47:58 GMT

Things have been very up and down lately. I feel like in the last six months I have grown up like, 48203 years. I have my finances all straightened out and I looked at my bank account not too long ago and I'm so proud of myself for having so much money. I'm not touching it either so don't ask for loans, faggots, every time I loan anyone anything they end up fucking me.

Not like literally fucking me, but you know.

Well in one case that did happen, actually. I loaned someone money and HE did fuck me. But I think he may have fucked me prior to me lending him money. Hmph. And not so much FUCK as thrust once or twice and blow. Anyways.. that was really vulgar.

I get to see Ashley and Jill and all the queens of the scene on Friday and we're going to a club. I hate clubs, but they're so stoked on going so I said okay anyway. Plus Ashley said there's these hot dudes there so why not go just to look at eye candy! Oh and before that I get to have lunch with Nick and that is way way way long over due. Yay! Nick is eye candy and I get to eat so its like good company, good looking fix, and food - three of my faves.

I quit softball. What a relief that is. Well, good and bad I guess.

I texted Crystal not too long ago and we need to set aside some real plans because I miss her all kinds. Miki is coming down on the 31st and we're going to see Brand New together in the city. I'm so stoked! Other than that, Jay didn't even call or text or msg me on my birthday and to be honest I'm pretty let down.

Aside from all that chaos, I have been feeling insecure even more so than usual lately. Especially within my relationship with the BF. Which is weird because, deep down I know he's a really good guy. Its just intimidating because he's so much older than me and he knows so many people blah blah blah. It sucks being the one that always needs attention, because usually its the other way around. Maybe I'm just not good in relationships. That's what I always tell myself and then I leave or make things really stupid. But I don't want that to happen with him and I because he's so so cute. I probably just jinxed it.

Anyways, tonight I'm going to SC to see Jen for my birthday! I celebrate this weekend with my family. I went to a casino for the first time, I don't know why. But it was pretty rad. I got a lot of kick ass stuff, my family out did themselves.

Sun, 09 Jul 2006 08:48:11 GMT

thank you.

Sun, 02 Jul 2006 19:56:51 GMT

THESE WORDS WILL NEVER LAST AND YOUR HASTY REACTIONS
WILL ONLY REAP, REAP REGRET

Sun, 02 Jul 2006 08:06:43 GMT

shannon, tracy, aud.. i'm really starting to miss the good ol' days.

JEN: HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! <3

Fri, 30 Jun 2006 08:55:16 GMT

i'd rather be lonely & horny than degraded.

its a good quality to have, most girls i know don't.

Mon, 26 Jun 2006 21:47:17 GMT

you're what i look most forward to

Sun, 25 Jun 2006 06:32:24 GMT

why waste time on someone that won't waste time on you?

i know better than anyone that sometimes its better to just be alone and i refuse to let myself want someone that doesn't reciprocate those feelings.

its funny how you can take one situation, one interaction, and have two people experience it but have the outcome of their reactions be completely opposite of one another. i don't see how it happends so frequently to people.

i don't understand how another person cannot value another's worth, either.

i'll shorthand this for all of you who don't understand:
I JUST WANT TO BREAK STRAIGHT EDGE AND GET F-ED IN THE A BY TONS OF GUYS.

Wed, 21 Jun 2006 07:36:37 GMT

people throw around the phrase "i love you" too often,
and people don't take sex seriously enough.

just thought i'd let you all know.

Mon, 19 Jun 2006 16:34:18 GMT

no one can make you feel inferior without your consent.

Fri, 09 Jun 2006 15:23:16 GMT

just about the dumbest thing i've ever read in my life,
i'd like to spit in whoever's face that finds this humorous or cute.

Wed, 07 Jun 2006 16:39:06 GMT

i bet my chalice is supreme. i'm also pretty convinced that i'm jesus' great-great-great-great-great-great-granddaughter.

Tue, 06 Jun 2006 01:01:10 GMT

um write about how much you love me.

i do love you, a lot.

haha.

just go post in your livejournal, annoying bitches.

haha.

ultramilitance.

?

yup.

cough
cough
sniff

salvation

switcher 2000 plus
v 20
newpoint

:]

Wed, 31 May 2006 00:09:14 GMT

no man will ever be the equivalent of jimmy to me.

Mon, 22 May 2006 05:18:54 GMT

aye, i'm really over him this time. and that's scary, but rewarding at the same time.

let the fun begin :]

Thu, 18 May 2006 13:46:04 GMT

today, i'm wearing a polo shirt

Tue, 16 May 2006 21:05:33 GMT

when people say, "i'm not worth your time", they mean they don't care about you.

Mon, 15 May 2006 22:23:34 GMT

crystal
mikaela
where are you

gotcho' dumbass